Spotting Trauma in Children and Adults: Breaking Down the Signs

Written by Brenda Evans, Therapeutic Lead at The For Baby’s Sake Trust

The impact of trauma on children

Children’s immediate reactions to experiencing trauma may include worry, anxiety, separation anxiety, excessive worry about their safety (and the safety of the non-abusive parent), sleep problems, nightmares, difficulty with concentration, increased hyperactivity, increased anger/aggression, withdrawal and low self-esteem and confidence. An understanding of developmental trauma is vital when working with children who have experienced trauma. Developmental trauma can be described as fear inducing incidents which are repeated in a child’s life, rather than it being a one-off significant event. When the traumatic stressors are interpersonal – premeditated and perpetrated in relationships of care, it is more damaging and constitutes complex trauma (Kezelman, 2012). Experiencing domestic abuse is a form of complex trauma.

These traumatic experiences have detrimental neurological and health implications for children. The psychiatrist, Professor Bessel Van der Kolk, states that early trauma creates an ‘assault’ on the child’s development over time. This is supported by Shore who explains that trauma, abuse and neglect inhibit the natural expansion of neural pathways which are forming within the infant’s rapidly developing brain and do cause damage. Bessel Van der Kolk suggests that trauma threatens our survival and triggers our non-verbal response, immediately activating the body’s regulatory systems and therefore increases their sensitivity to what is perceived to be potential danger and threat, rather than what might always be a real danger.

Traumatised children are often therefore ‘developmentally stuck’ in their brain stem, the part of the brain responsible for keeping us safe which elicits the fight/flight/freeze response. Children’s brains develop from the bottom up and whilst they are stuck in the brain stem, they find it more challenging to form secure attachments, manage their emotions, think, learn or reflect because they are simply trying to stay alive in a world that they feel is highly dangerous. These children develop a range of unhealthy coping strategies which they believe will help them survive but crucially, they also do NOT develop the essential life skills that they need, such as being able to manage impulses and solve problems. In addition, they lack self-awareness/motivation and do not possess a verbal or a non-verbal working memory.

Isolation: Inability to establish & maintain friendships

Many children who have experienced trauma and struggled with attachment experiences grow up with negative core beliefs about themselves and the world which can impact on their ability to establish and maintain friendships. Feelings of shame, worthlessness and rejection are often accompanied by beliefs such as ‘I’m useless’, ‘I don’t belong anywhere or fit in’, ‘You’ll soon reject me so I may as well reject you first’. These core beliefs can be deeply felt and prevent them from establishing and maintaining friendships.

Labelled naughty, disruptive, out of control

For children who have experienced trauma it may appear that they are displaying immature, disruptive behaviour that is inappropriate for their age but more often this very behaviour is an indication of their emotional age and explains regressive tendencies that often emerge. Some attention-seeking behaviours should be reframed as attention ‘needing’ and responses modified within that context.

They are not being naughty – they are simply experiencing unmanageable, overwhelming feelings and labelling them will only serve to exacerbate any difficult situations and add to alienation with their peers.

Ruptured attachment system – can no longer trust people who should keep them safe

It is necessary to consider how trauma impacts on a child’s attachment. A healthy attachment relationship develops before birth as the mother responds to the baby’s movements and interacts with the baby with words, sounds and touch that demonstrate love and nurture. From birth the parent then responds to the then explicit needs of the child. Attachment is a specific system that provides safety and security, regulates emotions by comforting, creating joy and facilitating calm and crucially offers a secure base from which to explore the world. It forms the foundation for all future relationships.

Very early research by Bowlby (1988) & Ainsworth (1978) concluded that experiences of being comforted and cared for when frightened affect the development of crucial factors such as the ability to trust in others, self-awareness and the ability to reflect on their needs and ask for help. Essentially, when children’s needs are met their ability to form secure attachments is enhanced, trust in adults is deepened and an internal model of security established.

Trauma doesn’t lend itself to linguistic interpretation

Pre-verbal trauma memories typically do not have associated words or a clear and coherent story. These memories might come in the form of flashes of images, disconnected fragments, or uncomfortable physical sensations with no known cause. Research indicates that the Broca (the speech centre of the brain) is affected when we are overwhelmed by fear. Trauma is stored non-verbally making it extremely difficult for an individual to put their experiences into words and process the memory using language. Furthermore, children are frightened to talk about it, in case it might make the situation worse. Memories are not confined to mental images or thoughts and can appear as sensory perceptions, pain, rapid heartbeat and breathing problems. Professionals who push children to verbally deal with their difficulties risk further hurting them and pushing the child to state what happened could serve to retraumatise or further traumatise the child.

Inability to self-regulate

The ability to self-regulate develops out of co-regulation. The voice of the adult(s) who helped the child calm and be comforted by co-regulating with them becomes like an internal voice that enables the child to self-regulate as adults. Children rely on caregivers to regulate their state and arousal which ensures that develop self-sufficiency in managing their own emotions. Children who do not have emotionally available, empathetic and attuned parents will find it more challenging to self-regulate.

Acknowledge and accept the fact that neurologically these children are wired differently.

Childhood maltreatment significantly impacts brain development:

1) Lack of maternal attachment and care

The neurons in the prefrontal cortex are activated by love and care. For children who have not received this, their frontal-lobe capacity is diminished, leading in difficulty in understanding another person’s point of view, to poor planning and to a lack of strategies to self-calm and soothe.

2) Exposure to abuse

Children can be powerless victims at the receiving end of overwhelming abuse. The harm they endure is sealed as a memory in their limbic system, freezing the details of it. The way such memories are banked is key to the repercussions experienced later. Memories of the maltreatment are in the here-and-now, even years later, in the mind of an adult, unless they are processed. Whilst the mind stores abusive encounters, the body undergoes a parallel process – retaining its physical impact. This can result in ‘acting out’ behaviours where the abusive incidents are replayed.

Recognising trauma in adults

Recognising trauma in adults involves observing signs like re-experiencing, avoidance, negative changes in thinking/mood, and hyperarousal; alongside physical symptoms like headaches or fatigue, often impacting daily functioning and relationships. These reactions, particularly if prolonged for over 4 weeks, can indicate Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or Complex PTSD.

Emotional & Psychological Signs

Intense emotions: anxiety, fear, anger, guilt, shame, or numbness
Negative self-perception: feeling worthless, believing their is something fundamentally wrong with you, feeling being utterly defeated
Hopelessness/Helplessness: feeling overwhelmed or powerless, inability to feel joy
Dissociation: feeling detached from yourself, others and reality

Behavioural & Relational Signs

Social withdrawal or isolation
Relationship struggles: trust issues or avoidance
Self-destructive behaviour: substance use, self-harm, or overeating
Loss of interest in activities or hobbies

Cognitive & Memory Signs

Intrusive memories or flashbacks
Memory problems or concentration issues
Negative beliefs: world is unsafe and dangerous. self-blame

Physical Signs

Sleep problems or hyperarousal
Body reactions: shaking, rapid heart rate, sweating, or headaches

The good news is that trauma doesn’t have to define you. If you’re struggling with significant traumatic events, repetitive small traumas, persistent patterns of thought or behaviour, triggers tracing back to childhood pain, or past relationships; trauma-informed, therapeutic interventions can tackle the past, create a sense of safety and achieve improved physiological regulation, THEN, you can reclaim your future.

You are stronger and more powerful than your trauma.

In the words of world renowned trauma expert Professor van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score:

“Trauma is much more than a story about the past that explains why people are frightened, angry or out of control. Trauma is re-experienced in the present, not as a story, but as profoundly disturbing physical sensations and emotions that may not be consciously associated with memories of past trauma. Terror, rage and helplessness are manifested as bodily reactions, like a pounding heart, nausea, gut-wrenching sensations and characteristic body movements that signify collapse, rigidity or rage…. The challenge in recovering from trauma is to learn to tolerate feeling what you feel and knowing what you know without becoming overwhelmed. There are many ways to achieve this, but all involve establishing a sense of safety and the regulation of physiological arousal.”