13 Nov, 2024
On International Men’s Day, we take a moment to reflect on the unique experiences and challenges men face, especially those working to overcome past trauma and build safer, healthier lives for themselves and their families.
The path to change often requires parents to confront painful truths and commit to a journey of growth. One father’s story, shared below, illustrates this difficult yet hopeful journey.
After the experience of having his daughter removed from his care, he and his partner joined the For Baby’s Sake programme. Through this trauma-informed support, they began to address their past, improve their parenting skills, and learn constructive ways to manage emotions and conflicts. With hard work, the guidance of For Baby’s Sake, and a deep commitment to change, they were able to welcome their daughter back home.
In sharing this story, we recognise the strength it takes for men to seek help and face the effects of trauma, with the goal of creating a loving, safe family environment.
We hope this father’s journey serves as a message of hope for others looking to break free from cycles of abuse and build a positive future.
Please tell us a little about the abuse you experienced growing up.
I experienced physical violence from my stepdad, lots of arguments between my parents. There was such a change between feeling love and then scared of violence in the next moment.
How do you think that translated to your own relationships?
I did this myself as an adult and used violence and experienced violence from partners. It has made me more aware and cautious of people.
How did it feel to have your daughter taken into care?
This was one of the worst pains that I have felt. I struggled with this decision and didn’t agree with it at the time.
How did For Baby's Sake help you?
It has helped us to face future things, work things out. If they had been involved before, I believe our daughter would not have been taken from us in the first place.
What was the most valuable thing that For Baby's Sake taught you?
Safety planning has been great. They have taught me how to be older, to know about myself and now I am a better version of myself. It is a lot better than using Google to find answers.
How did you feel when your daughter was returned to your care?
Like my whole world came back, this was everything that we should have had. I was the happiest and couldn’t believe it.
How are you now? How do you use the lessons you've learnt to keep yourselves safe?
I have learnt speaking out to people about things is best. We are stronger people from going through this.
What would you like people to understand about your experience?
I have learnt that when things are at their worst, they can always get better.
