Can People Change? We Ask Our Therapeutic Lead, Brenda Evans

The question of whether individuals, particularly those who have used abusive behaviour, can change is complex and multifaceted.

We explored this with Brenda Evans, the Therapeutic Lead at The For Baby’s Sake Trust. Brenda provides valuable insights into the potential for behavioural change and the factors that influence it.

What Does Research Say About Behavioural Change?

Research suggests that behavioural change is possible but challenging, especially for those with a history of abusive behaviour:

Nature vs. Nurture: Both genetic predispositions and environmental factors contribute to behaviour. While genetics can influence tendencies, environmental factors and experiences play a significant role in shaping behaviour.
Therapeutic Interventions: Evidence-based therapies, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and trauma-informed care, can help individuals recognise and alter harmful behaviours. These therapies focus on understanding the root causes of behaviour and developing healthier coping mechanisms.

What Are the Key Factors in Facilitating Change?

Several factors are crucial in facilitating behavioural change:

Motivation and Commitment: The individual’s genuine desire to change and commitment to the process are fundamental. Without this, any change is likely to be superficial and unsustainable.
Accountability: Accepting responsibility for one’s actions is a significant hurdle. Those who use abusive behaviours must acknowledge their behaviour and its impact to begin the journey of change.
Support Systems: Professional help, such as therapy and counselling, is vital. Additionally, a supportive network of family and friends can reinforce positive changes and provide a buffer against relapse.
Meaningful, Trusting, Collaborative, Therapeutic Relationship: Relationships heal relationships. Establishing a strong therapeutic relationship between the individual and their professional is essential. This relationship provides a safe space for individuals to explore their behaviours and emotions, fostering trust and collaboration. A professional’s empathy, understanding, and non-judgmental approach are critical in helping the individual feel supported and motivated to change.

What Are the Challenges in Changing Abusive Behaviour?

Changing abusive behaviour is fraught with challenges:

Deep-Rooted Patterns: Abusive behaviours are often deeply ingrained, making change a slow and challenging process. It requires persistent effort and ongoing support.
Resistance to Change: Many individuals resist change due to fear, denial, or a lack of understanding about the impact of their actions. Overcoming this resistance is a critical step in the process.
Social Conditioning, Learnt Behaviours, Flawed Belief Systems & Scripts: Abusive behaviours are often reinforced by societal norms and personal experiences. Individuals may have internalised flawed belief systems and scripts that justify their actions, making it difficult to unlearn these patterns and adopt healthier behaviours.
Lack of Emotional Regulation: Those who use abusive behaviours often struggle with regulating their emotions, leading to outbursts of anger and aggression. Developing emotional regulation skills through therapeutic support and practice is essential for sustainable change.
Unresolved Childhood Trauma: Many individuals who exhibit abusive behaviours have experienced trauma in their own childhoods. Addressing these unresolved issues through therapy is crucial for breaking the cycle of abuse and fostering healthy behaviours.

Are There Success Stories Demonstrating that People Can Change?

Brenda shares that while change is challenging requiring longer-term support, it is not impossible. The For Baby’s Sake Trust has achieved successful outcomes for hundreds of individuals and their families who have transformed their lives and relationships through dedication and support:

Personal Growth: Many individuals who genuinely commit to the process and engage with therapeutic support can and do change. They learn healthier ways to cope with stress and manage relationships.
Family Healing: Families can heal and rebuild trust over time. This requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to forgive and move forward.
Increased Self-Awareness & Self-Worth: Individuals develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their behaviours, leading to increased self-awareness. This awareness fosters a sense of self-worth and empowers individuals to make positive changes in their lives.
Providing a Safe, Loving Home Environment Where Children Can Flourish: Creating a safe and nurturing home environment is essential for children’s well-being. Through behavioural change, individuals can provide a stable and loving home where children feel secure and can thrive.
Increased Sense of Self: As individuals work through their issues and develop healthier behaviours, they often experience an increased sense of self. This newfound confidence and self-assurance contribute to their overall well-being and ability to maintain positive changes.

What Role Does The For Baby's Sake Trust Play in Enabling People to Change?

The For Baby’s Sake Trust is committed to supporting individuals and families on their journey towards healthier relationships:

Therapeutic Support: We offer trauma-informed, therapeutic support, designed to identify the root causes of abusive behaviour, understand the impact of their own parenting experiences, improve emotional regulation and be the best parents they can be.
Support for Families: We provide resources and support for families affected by abuse and those using harmful behaviours, helping them to heal and build stronger, more supportive relationships.
Education and Advocacy: We work to raise awareness about the potential for change and the importance of support and intervention. By advocating for policies and programs that support behavioural change, we aim to create a safer, healthier environment for all.

In conclusion, while changing abusive behaviour is challenging, it is possible with the right support and commitment. The For Baby’s Sake Trust is dedicated to providing the resources and support needed to facilitate this change and promote healthier, safer relationships.