What is narcissism? We ask Brenda Evans, our Therapeutic Lead

We sat down with our Therapeutic Lead, Brenda Evans, to explore narcissism, Narcissistic Personality Disorder and to get a better sense of the causes and signs of this behaviour.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is extreme self-interest to the point that it makes the person oblivious to the needs and feelings of others.

While most people at some point in their lives might demonstrate occasional narcissistic behaviour, true narcissists frequently behave in this way, not understanding or caring about the effect that their behaviour has on others.

What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)?

It’s important to note that narcissism is a trait, but it can also be a part of a larger personality disorder.

Not every narcissist has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as narcissism is a spectrum.

People who are at the highest end of the spectrum are those that are diagnosed with NPD, but others, still with narcissistic traits, may fall on the lower end of the narcissistic spectrum.

The causes of narcissism are largely unknown but there is evidence that it can be connected to:

Environment: During childhood if you were subjected to excessive praise and adulation or too much harsh criticism by your parents that felt disproportionate to your reality, narcissistic tendencies can emerge. The prevailing cause for narcissism however is, experiencing childhood trauma such as severe abuse and/or neglect.
Neurobiology: The connection between your brain, behaviour, and thinking processes.
Genetics: Narcissism might be linked to specific inherited characteristics and personality traits.

People who show signs of narcissism can appear to be charming and charismatic and attempt to avoid displaying the traits early in relationships, especially intimate ones.

They do however, like to surround themselves with people who willingly, at first, feed their ego and reinforce their core beliefs about themselves.

What are the types of narcissism?

There is some debate about the number of narcissistic ‘types’ but fundamentally they fall under two distinct categories.

Both have common traits but emerge from different childhood experiences and are known to influence the different ways people will behave in relationships.

Grandiose Narcissism

Those with grandiose narcissism tend to be aggressive, dominant, and exaggerate their status, qualities, and achievements. They believe they are superior to most and completely deserving of this elevated position. They are very self-confident sparing no thought or consideration for the feelings of others. It’s likely that they were showered with enduring praise throughout childhood regardless of whether it was worthy or not, and the journey into adulthood intensifies and exacerbates the narcissistic traits.

Vulnerable Narcissism

People with this behaviour are much more sensitive, so narcissistic behaviour helps to protect them against feelings of inadequacy. Their sense of self is often fragile, and they oscillate between feelings of superiority and feelings of inferiority. They are easily offended and become increasingly anxious if not made to feel special by others. Childhood neglect and abuse are thought to be what drives these behaviours.

What are the signs of narcissism?

There are a range of distinctive signs of narcissism, including but not limited to:

A sense of entitlement
Feeling deserving of special treatment
Insisting they have the best of everything
Exhibiting manipulative behaviour
Attention seeking
Arrogance
Lack of empathy
A sense of self-importance, exaggerating their achievements and talents
A preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, or brilliance
Envy of others but believing that they are universally envied

How does For Baby’s Sake address Narcissistic Personality Disorder and sociopathy?

NPD is a mental health condition and if a diagnosis is made, specialist support will be required.

Sociopaths are recognised as psychologically disturbed people having a severe form of ASPD (Antisocial personality disorder).

That said, it’s not unusual for these terms to be widely misused to describe someone who displays extreme, self-serving, egocentric behaviours and that’s the link to those who use harmful behaviours in relationships.

Both conditions are exceptionally hard to treat, and some would argue that there is no ‘cure’ for a sociopath, but the therapy world hasn’t given up on treatment to address the possible underlying triggers.

We see parents with narcissistic tendencies but less so, if ever, sociopaths who are more generally isolated and struggle with/avoid intimate relationships.

For Baby’s Sake would not be a suitable fit for either category of individual before they had undergone specialist treatment, developed empathy, acknowledge their hostile, power driven, impulsive behaviours, emotional detachment and are genuinely seeking change; all of which remain unlikely if unsuccessful.

People can change with the right support but for those with specific psychologically disturbed behaviours and mental health diagnoses, specialist interventions will be required, and this is not in our remit to offer.