FAQs

For Baby’s Sake highlights our central focus on working with parents to reduce the impact of domestic abuse on their lives, and the life of their baby.  

For Baby’s Sake reflects that often a pregnancy is a motivator for parents to seek support to break the cycle of domestic abuse in their relationship whether they are using abusive behaviour or experiencing it.  This enables intergenerational cycles of domestic abuse to be broken, giving babies the best start in life. 

We provide and promote trauma-informed, therapeutic support to break cycles of domestic abuse and give babies the best start in life. We deliver For Baby’s Sake to expectant co-parents where there is experience of domestic abuse, they want to co-parent their baby, and both parents want support to change. For Baby’s Sake is a trauma-informed, therapeutic programme delivered up until the baby is two years old. Each parent has their own separate Therapeutic Practitioner who works with them (whether they are in a relationship with one another or not) to address the root causes of domestic abuse and take positive action to be the best parents they can be, helping their baby to thrive. 

We work with co-parents from any background, experience, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, faith, or social demographic. Our way of working provides the time, space and support for parents to address issues from their own lives. The work with each parent includes a focus on the overall wellbeing and development of the baby and any other children. We work with parents who: want to change behaviours that cause hurt or fear in their relationship and family, want to co-parent their baby, even if they’re not a couple or don’t live together, might have experienced significant difficulties in their own childhood and want a better start for their baby, are expecting a baby (ideally before 28 weeks of pregnancy). Every referral goes through a robust risk assessment to determine whether For Baby’s Sake is right for that family. 

Most of our referrals come from social workers and midwives who are in contact with a family where there is a pregnancy and experience of domestic abuse. We welcome referrals from all agencies in our funded areas and will also welcome self-referrals. We deliver sessions face-to-face and through video technology/calls– facilitating the needs of individual parents.

We currently have regional teams operating across London and the South East, the East of England, the North East of England and in Blackpool. We are striving to expand the service throughout the UK. 

The first 1001 days are crucial to human development. Experiencing domestic abuse impacts life chances for babies and children and evidence suggests that exposure pre-birth and until the baby’s second birthday can have the greatest impact.  Starting in pregnancy also responds to parents’ motivation to take up support and make change in their lives, to protect and care for their baby.   

We do not require parents to be in a relationship with one another. Our King’s College London evaluation evidenced that, in the duration of the programme, over 50% of For Baby’s Sake parents safely separate. Our programme is designed to break cycles of domestic abuse, and help parents to safely parent their baby, whether they are in a relationship or not. Each parent has a separate Therapeutic Practitioner. If one parent disengages with the programme, we will continue to work with the other parent. It is crucial that both parents are willing, consenting participants in the programme; we do not mandate contact between parents.   

We support those who want help to change. We take a trauma-informed approach that helps people using abusive behaviours to understand the impact of their behaviour, and develop strategies to make positive change.

We take a trauma-informed, therapeutic approach to break cycles of domestic abuse. We seek to understand the root cause of domestic abuse, including the impact of family histories and traumatic childhood experiences on our behaviour as adults and parents.  

Our preference is to avoid labelling people – particularly as victims or perpetrators, and you will hear us avoiding these terms as much as possible. We talk about those who experience domestic abuse or use abusive behaviours towards others. This does not take away from the impact of domestic abuse, and the need for accountability. We exist to break cycles of domestic abuse because we understand its devastating impact. We want all parents to seek help if they are experiencing domestic abuse, and to feel safe, heard and supported. 

However, we always strive to show respect to others, including those who take a different perspective.

We take a gender-informed approach to addressing domestic abuse. We recognise that domestic abuse is disproportionately perpetrated by men and experienced by women and is one of the causes and consequences of gender inequality in society. 1 in 4 women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime. We also recognise that domestic abuse is experienced by at least 1 in 7 men, with the potential for a high level of underreporting.  We also recognise that domestic abuse is significant within LGBTQIA+ relationships.  We work with any parents who want support to change and give their baby the best start in life.  

If you are expecting a baby and are experiencing domestic abuse, it is vital that you seek help. 

If you are at immediate risk of harm, you can contact the police. You can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline 0808 2000 247 or talk to your midwife, health visitor or social worker (if you already have one).  

What will happen after you have shared your experiences will depend on individual circumstances. Watch our film with Best Beginnings here, which explains more about the next steps after you tell someone that you are experiencing domestic abuse. 

In every case, there should be an assessment of risk to you and your baby, and a social worker will likely conduct this. They will consider the risk to you, to your baby, and to any other children in the household.   

Remember that social care are there to keep your baby and children safe, and will work with you to take the action needed to minimise risk. 

It is a brave step to acknowledge your behaviour might be hurting someone and putting your baby, children and family at risk.

Watch our film with Best Beginnings here to understand more about whether your behaviour is abusive. 

If you are using abusive behaviour, please reach out to the Respect Helpline.  

The For Baby’s Sake team will explain the programme’s content with you, and together, we will carefully decide whether this is the right step for you and your family.

Before working with any family, we conduct risk assessments and safety planning, and we will always take a multi-agency approach to ensure the safety of both parents and the baby.  

It is crucial to acknowledge that seeking support for domestic abuse is a complex journey and your safety, and the safety of your baby is our priority. If we feel at any time that the programme is not right for you and your family, we will explain this to you and work with you to find other support. While our intervention can be a vital step for families, it is not the right programme for every family, and your safety will always be our priority.

Hear from our families in our animated film here. 

In the duration of the programme, over 50% of For Baby’s Sake parents safely separate. Here’s how we support them to do so: 

• We take time to build a therapeutic relationship – this helps parents to open up about their situation, to build trust and be honest with us, and to make authentic choices.
• We acknowledge that very often a break-up is not an event – it’s a process. We work separately with both parents to develop their self-awareness, to understand and manage their feelings, and to work toward managing endings.
• For the person experiencing abuse, this is about developing a belief in themselves that they can do this – including that they can live without their partner or have a different relationship. We take time to explore what they value in a relationship and whether those needs and wants are being met.
• For the person using abusive behaviours it’s about accepting what’s happening and learning to let go. With both parents, we are supporting them to manage their emotions and to learn to meet their own mental health needs – for example, learning to self-soothe.
• We also explore why they respond the way they do – for example, past experiences of loss and rejection, and help to process these events and understand thought patterns and behaviours.
• We look at what it means to feel safe outside (physically) and inside (emotionally). We use physical and emotional safety plans.  We revisit these plans during the work with our parents to reflect on whether the relationship is meeting these needs and working for them.
• We acknowledge that separation is a time of high risk for domestic abuse – we have the advantage of working with both parents through this process, always risk assessing and safety planning – considering the safety of the baby and the parents.

Trauma-informed practice is an approach that is grounded in the understanding that trauma exposure can impact an individual’s neurological, biological, psychological, and social development. This approach within domestic abuse interventions can significantly improve emotional regulation and support behaviour change. Being trauma-informed means recognising and understanding the impact of trauma on individuals, families, and communities. It involves acknowledging that many of the people we work with have experienced trauma, especially those affected by domestic abuse, childhood neglect and abuse. By being trauma-informed, we strive to break cycles of domestic abuse by addressing the root causes of trauma, including fears, insecurities, and sabotaging life patterns by providing comprehensive support for families. 

At The For Baby’s Sake Trust, we strongly emphasise the importance of attachment because it forms the foundation for a child’s emotional and psychological development on which all future relationships are based. Our work focuses on ensuring a secure attachment is established and maintained for the baby as it is crucial for the development of their sense of safety, trust, and wellbeing. A secure attachment style can significantly enhance social, emotional, and cognitive outcomes throughout their life. By supporting parents to create a home free from harmful behaviours where babies & children can flourish, we aim to break the cycle of domestic abuse and give babies the best start in life. We use strengths-based interventions like Video Interaction Guidance (VIG) to help parents understand and respond to their baby’s cues with attuned interactions that strengthen the parent-infant relationship and provides a positive developmental trajectory for the child.

• Individual level: Personal histories (including childhood exposure to abuse), trauma histories, mental and physical ill health, exposure to stress, substance misuse, poverty, insecure housing, immigration status, social isolation
• Relational level: Conflict within intimate relationships, power imbalances, and unhealthy dynamics can escalate into abusive behaviour.
• Community level: Social environments, including neighbourhoods, peer groups, workplaces, and the online world, may either protect against or increase the risk of domestic abuse.
• Societal level: Gender inequalities, economic inequalities, and systemic discrimination play a significant role in enabling violence and abuse to occur. Shame, stigma and societal factors also create a range of barriers to help-seeking by all, including by those under-represented in domestic abuse prevalence statistics.